Mother’s Day is a day of gratitude for the bond between mother and daughter, but it’s also a time for reflection. Mother-daughter relationships are layered with love, expectation, and sometimes, deep-seated misunderstandings. We see this dynamic play out in so many ways: the mother who wants the best for her daughter but struggles to let go, the daughter who craves independence yet still seeks her mother’s approval, and the unspoken tensions that can linger for years. These relationships are often defined as much by what is said as by what remains unsaid.
In my novel, The Perfect Daughter, I explore the complexities of this bond. At its core, the story delves into the ways in which love, obligation, and past wounds shape the way we see one another. The mother in the book wrestles with her own fears and desires for her daughter’s future, while the daughter, Jess, grapples with defining herself outside of her mother’s expectations. It’s a relationship filled with love—but also with struggles that many can relate to.
There’s a difficult balance between being protective and being controlling. And as Jess discovers in The Perfect Daughter, when you are on the receiving end, sometimes it’s difficult to know the difference—especially when that intense relationship is all you’ve ever known. Could the one person who is supposed to love her unconditionally, in fact, be manipulating her?
Sometimes it takes an outside perspective to help us see what we’re too close to recognize ourselves. That doesn’t mean it’s easy to hear. Outsiders can misinterpret things—they don’t always grasp the history or nuance of a relationship. But I’ve found, both in life and in writing, that even when feedback feels jarring or off the mark, it often shines a light on something worth examining.
When beta readers give notes on my manuscript, their suggestions might not align with my vision, and their proposed fixes might not be the right ones for me. But if I pause and truly consider what’s prompting their feedback, I often discover they’ve picked up on a problem I hadn’t noticed. Their solution might not be mine—but their insight helps me find one that is. In relationships, as in writing, it’s worth listening—really listening—before we dismiss what doesn’t immediately sit right.
For some, Mother’s Day is a joyful celebration. For others, it can bring up old wounds or bittersweet memories. Perhaps the greatest lesson we can take from this day is that no mother-daughter relationship is perfect. They are ever-evolving, marked by moments of joy, frustration, forgiveness, and, hopefully, understanding.
So, this Mother’s Day, let’s celebrate the beauty in the imperfection. Let’s honour the sacrifices, the unconditional love, and even the difficult conversations that help shape who we are. Whether your relationship with your mother (or daughter) is strong, complicated, or somewhere in between, today is a reminder that love, in all its messy, beautiful forms, is what truly binds us together.
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